I am sitting in my car in the Burger King parking lot in the middleofnowhere, TX stealing internet from the neighboring America's Best Value Inn, listening to the radio. (Katy Perry)
I just closed out my bank account at the local Walmart bank. I had to cash my monthly check and close out my account. As I feared, one of my usual tellers was working. I had to tell her this was my last visit to the bank. As we were finishing up our transaction she said she would miss me, to come back and see them if I ever came back to Texas. Now, I am sure she meant for any banking needs. But in that moment she meant me. She meant if I was ever in town I could see her again, and perhaps we would even embrace.
I am having a lot of trouble writing this post. I am too sad after going to the bank to write anything that wouldn't make you grab the tissues, a box of chocolates and let out some much needed tears. So I enlisted the help of my DEAR friend Lacey. After I reached out for help the following conversation ensued:
me: ugh Lacey I am not funny today!
L: lol...what?!
Me: I have to update my blog
L: so you have to update your blog but you aren't feeling funny?
Me: so im trying to write a post and its DEEPPRESSSIINNGGG!!!
L:Ok... put your head between your knees and take 5 deep breathes...
Me:really? because I will do it
L:lol DO IT!! this is your pep talk!
:)
L: now...do some jumping jacks like...5...we will stick with 5
L: then slap yourself in the face...lol
Me: done!
I really think I thought this would help because Lacey is a mom and mom's know everything and mom's don't lie. Except they do. A lot. I just recently figured out that the main characters in the Titanic DID have sex in that car. My mom told me they were just kissing. I watched the movie a little while back and I said this sentence out loud "it's so weird that are just kissi..OH MY GOSH!...THEY ARE NOT JUST KISSING!!!"
My eyes were opened to a new side of the world. A dark, scary one. Where moms lie and people who are not married have...relations.
What is next? Reality TV is staged and scripted!?!? This is all too much.
You are hilarious!
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