Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

We're back!

Happy 2011 Everyone!
Obviously we took a break there for a while! We just had a lot of things going on, graduating from the internship, moving across the country (SEPARATING the Magpies), Christmas, New Years, finding jobs, starting school, traveling etc.

And since we are now separated by a few states it is obviously harder for us to have adventures and then write about them. But do not fret -We have a lot of awesome things up our sleeve for this upcoming year! We will announce them as they happen or as they are approaching. (teaser - they may or may not involve Taylor Swift)

So here are a few things I (Mary) have been enjoying since moving from the loathed state of Texas to the frozen tundra known as Michigan.

I have started going to the gym 5-6 times a week. I have become a Yogi, not the bear but as in I love me some yoga. I take two or three classes every week. It is probably the best workout I have ever done because I always walk away feeling super relaxed. Which is actually a really amazing feat considering the fact that I am the most uncoordinated person in the history of the planet. This is not even a little bit dramatic.

So - please - try and picture this: a dark studio, candles lit, waterfall music playing, yoga people all over the room in various yoga poses looking like really relaxed pretzels. Now there is me, in the back corner sweating like a banshee, or some other sweaty animal; falling all over my mat. Seriously. Falling. It really does not matter on what pose I am trying to get myself into I always end up losing balance. Sometimes the yoga instructor will play music like Ke$ha. This does not improve my situation.  I have an inability to keep my uncoordinated self still when that sort of music is playing.

I embarrass myself 2-3 times a week all for the sake of health. But let me tell you, these guns I am forming is making it wellll worth it.

Since Rebecca and I are separated we try and keep the love flowing by texting, skyping, or an occasional video. The following video is a prime example of my complete inability to move with grace, my obvious loss of any fashion knowledge I once had, and my LOVE for Katy Perry.

Thanks for sticking around - stay tuned for more hilarious updates from your favorite magpies! Feel Free to comment us below or email us as magpiesusa@gmail.com with any questions, or topic ideas you would like us to touch on!! 

Recommendations!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Humble Beginnings & Wide Eyes

I am sitting in my car in the Burger King parking lot in the middleofnowhere, TX stealing internet from the neighboring America's Best Value Inn, listening to the radio. (Katy Perry)

I just closed out my bank account at the local Walmart bank. I had to cash my monthly check and close out my account. As I feared, one of my usual tellers was working. I had to tell her this was my last visit to the bank. As we were finishing up our transaction she said she would miss me, to come back and see them if I ever came back to Texas. Now, I am sure she meant for any banking needs. But in that moment she meant me. She meant if I was ever in town I could see her again, and perhaps we would even embrace.

I am having a lot of trouble writing this post. I am too sad after going to the bank to write anything that wouldn't make you grab the tissues, a box of chocolates and let out some much needed tears. So I enlisted the help of my DEAR friend Lacey. After I reached out for help the following conversation ensued:


me: ugh Lacey I am not funny today!
L: lol...what?!
Me: I have to update my blog
L: so you have to update your blog but you aren't feeling funny?
Me: so im trying to write a post and its DEEPPRESSSIINNGGG!!!
L:Ok... put your head between your knees and take 5 deep breathes...
Me:really? because I will do it
L:lol DO IT!! this is your pep talk! :):)
Me: ok done
L: now...do some jumping jacks like...5...we will stick with 5
Me: im in my car
L: then slap yourself in the face...lol
Me: done!

I really think I thought this would help because Lacey is a mom and mom's know everything and mom's don't lie. Except they do. A lot. I just recently figured out that the main characters in the Titanic DID have sex in that car. My mom told me they were just kissing. I watched the movie a little while back and I said this sentence out loud "it's so weird that are just kissi..OH MY GOSH!...THEY ARE NOT JUST KISSING!!!"

My eyes were opened to a new side of the world. A dark, scary one. Where moms lie and people who are not married have...relations. 

What is next? Reality TV is staged and scripted!?!? This is all too much.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Needtobreathe Concert.

The day is December 1st, 2010. The time: 1:30 PM. I remember that my all time favorite band is playing just 2 hours away that very night. I get this instant uncontrollable urge to go. I ask Becca if she would be willing, she is. Despite the fact that we get $95 this month for food, we decide it is worth it. Youth is wasted on the young, but not tonight. Tonight we will seize the day, or the night. Tonight we will seize the night! We buy tickets and at 5:00 PM that night we head to Dallas.

We arrive at the Dallas House of Blues retrieve our tickets at will call and head to the back of the line. On our walk to the back of the ever-growing line we get stopped by a security guard, later to be named Eddie. He asks us if we were 21. To which I replied, "yes". He sent us to the VIP Diamond Lounge around the corner with instructions to tell them "Eddie sent us". So we listen. I walk into the door with new found confidence that "Eddie" was my ticket in. I show the girl at the door my ID and say those magic words "Eddie sent us". She looked slightly less then totally unenthusiastic and asked Becca for her ID. Which she did not have. So despite our ticket in, our smashing good looks and our obvious fun personalities - we were sent to the back of the now incredibly long line to wait with the commoners.

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity we manage to bob and weave our way to a decently close part in line. This part in line was directly in front of a set of windows that looked into the attached restaurant we proceeded to people watch and snap a few pictures.
Magpies

Finally we were let inside. This part in the concert experience is by far the worst. It is like no one has ever been to a concert before. Everyone that surrounds you seems to be particularly chatty and/or in love. They talk about the decorations, the venue, the band, a favorite song, or just make out. Don't get me wrong I love Needtobreathe. A lot. I want everyone to enjoy them in concert as much as I do. However, it almost cheapens it when everyone is there. It takes away from my experience.


After an agonizing wait the opening band came on. The Daylights. I had never heard of them before last night but I was really impressed. They have a great sound and the two singers are brothers and their voices blend together beautifully.







Then Needtobreathe finally came on stage. They started with just back spots as they music got louder and louder. I loved it. They opened with Prisoner. One of the things I love about Needtobreathe is seeing them live. They have such an energy on stage. They captivate an audience with their undeniable talent and contagious energy.

They next song was Quit from the Album 'Daylight', followed by More Time, Girl Named Tennessee (one of my top 5), then they played a new one Devil's Been Talkin', they slowed it down after that and played Stones Under Rushing Water, and Washed by the Water. The next song was another new one Oohs and Ahhs. These new songs were fantastic and made me really, really excited for the new album to get recorded and released.

They picked things up again and played Let Us Love, and Something Beautiful. Then my all time favorite song sung live - We Could Runaway.  I am one of those people that fully enjoys the concert experience. It is completely confusing to me how people can stand still during a song like We Could Runaway. It is best experienced at the top of your lungs. I really like to get my whole body into it.

After their "last song" they unplugged and came out and did an acoustic version of Valley of Tomorrow. My fan's heart was completely enthralled. I was ready to pounce on the man to my left who insisted on singing along. "Listen sir, if I wanted to hear YOU sing I would have paid YOU"


After they walked off stage they opened the curtain to reveal Bo Rhinehart standing up on the piano like a true star playing the intro to The Outsiders.

They played their title track from the newest record and the audience soaked in every last moment of it. Whatever the band does to get fans leaving wanting more, was in full effect last night. As we left the club there was lots of chatter of how amazing the show was and how they could not wait to see them again. Well done Needtobreathe, well done.

After the show we heard there was a place to wait by the buses for them to come out. I could not miss such a grand opportunity. It was already 10:30 at this point and we had a two hour drive and an early morning ahead of us but that did not seem to phase us. We set a limit of midnight. If they were not out then we would leave. Leaving empty handed was not an option so we took this:
Yes that IS us with the tour bus. Around 11:00 the newest member of the band, Toby, came out. I awkwardly stuck my hand out to greet him. We chatted for a little while then parted ways. Around 20 minutes later he walked back in right as I was shivering he said "you ok?" "yes, just cold" "sorry, they should be out soon"  After he went inside we took a video of us. To take in the moment.

Finally at 11:45 Bo and Bear came out. I asked for a picture. Pleasantries were exchanged. Bear walked away before we could snatch a picture. But we got these!!

Me and Bo Rinehart
Becca & Bo Rinehart
We sat back on the ground with a new determination to see my favorite member of the band, Seth. I have met Seth a few times and each time we have had decently long conversations. He is a really goofy guy who always keeps me in stitches.

Rebecca and Seth Bolt

Me and Seth Bolt. And Joe Stillwell. Thanks Joe.
Despite the social awkwardness coming out of me it was a great evening. I highly suggest going to see Needtobreathe at least once.

Links!!
Check them out!!


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Those Girls.

Have you ever felt a lot of pressure to perform? To be funny? No? Ok, well let me tell you - it is stressful.

Ok I have found that, really, there is nothing new under the sun. [I feel as if I should interject with some background information here. We are part of an internship where the participants are from almost every state and several different countries.] I can not even count how many times I have heard people say "yeah oh em gee (and people really say the letters, which I find incredibly obnoxious) that is exactly how it is where I live" or something of that nature. Now, I realize that I live in a melting pot of people from all over the country and even, yes, the world. And even despite all of the diversity of hometowns, people are people. There really is not a whole lot of uniqueness out there. All those crazy tatted up, mohawk slewin', pierced people, are now just a dime a dozen.

Every group of people has groups, whether it be a high school, college, work place, church, or dare I say an internship. There are groups. People group up. It happens. It is the natural way of life. Look in nature - you will see groupings. And in most, if not every grouping of people you have 1-3 of "those girls". And as I do a three second overview my life - I realize that I have always been one of "those girls". You all know what I am talking about. Those girls who think they are hysterical, and really do not care if other people think they are or not. Actually I have found that these girls have no idea why people do not find their antics hilarious.

An unwritten rule about this classification of females - they are notorious for NOT liking any other grouping of "those girls". There is only so much obnoxiousness people can take and it is plain to see when your turf is being threatened. However - throughout the course of my life I have found that if you actually give those people a chance, you find you get along quite swimningly.

Actually - a lot of times I wonder why I don't have more friends then I realize the things I do on a daily basis and it all makes sense. And those are the times when I thank God, literally, for all of the friends I do have and have managed to keep.

Now all of that to say: here is an example of one of the absolutely hilarious stunts we pulled on a friend of ours recently.

We have a friend, who will remain nameless, who works with us down here in Texas. For whatever reason he was not at work one day and I had to drop something off at his desk so I brought my counter partner with me because I just could not handle the journey alone. We were standing in his rather drab office when it happened. Another idea of something that would keep us in stitches for hours but most likely no one else would see the humor in. I exclaimed with obvious delight "what if we printed pictures of ourselves and hung them up in here?" Of course, the idea was a hit with her and our plan sprang into action.

Within an hour of the idea his office looked like this:
 I have blurred his face and the face of his nephew to protect the innocent. Notice that we even put commentary on the pictures of ourselves. "so cute!" "wow!" and finally, "look!" with a picture of an eyeball. We had to be sure that he would not miss our hilarity.

I would like to point out a few things:
I took this picture yesterday and I am quite certain we hung them up over a month ago. Clearly showing that despite the hemming and hawing - people love "those girls". Because let's face it - without us life would be nothing short of boring and predictable.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

100% Reason to Remember the Name


Rebecca here, I am the other half of the wondrousness that is the magpies.
Let us review the relationship between the other magpie and myself and how we obtained the nickname of "magpies."

We became friends sometime in March of 2010. 
One day I guess I decided she was cool and asked her to breakfast one morning, and that was it! We were instant friends.

We have been working in the same office and about 15 feet from each other for about a year and a half. Which, if you could see us, is hysterical. Why you ask?
Oh because we talk to each other on gmail chat ALL day long, call each other on our office phones, laugh extremely loud at each others jokes and belt out Taylor Swift as loud as we can. 



This is us, on the phone with each other.

Note my bright yellow hoodie. Clearly I wanted to be noticed. 

Moving on:
So, we were instant friends and it just kept getting better with time. We could talk about anything under the sun and laugh about it, dance in the car, sing out loud with our terrible singing voices and talk for hours about nothing, or maybe talk about the Kardashians, or anything E! related. We could go on road trips, make jokes about anything and finish each others sentences and last but not least, talk in half sentences and still know what each other was saying. 

(Side note: we are both from Michigan, therefore we have distinct midwestern accents that sometimes come out in their purest form. Which also causes us to talk extremely fast. You may know where i am going with this...)

Fast forward about 6 months and we are sitting in the office of a friend of ours.
She is busy working but we stopped in to say hello anyway. 
We sit down in her office and start chatting, about God knows what. (Our clothes? the weather?) 
Suddenly, we realize we are the only ones talking and completely cracking up at ourselves. We are laughing, talking in half sentences and chitter chartering so fast that it was clear that  this friend of ours was not following. So she says, "do you know that you two have just been talking for the past 15 minutes by yourselves? I wanted to see how long you could go without noticing but you two are like little magpies the way you talk!"
And there it is.
That is how our name came to be. 
I think we take pride in it. 
Magpies, forever funny, forever friends.